God of history and of my heart,
so much has happened to me during these whirlwind days:
I’ve known death and birth;
I’ve been brave and scared;
I’ve hurt, I’ve helped;
I’ve been honest, I’ve lied;
I’ve destroyed, I’ve created;
I’ve been with people, I’ve been lonely;
I’ve been loyal, I’ve betrayed;
I’ve decided, I’ve waffled;
I’ve laughed and I’ve cried.
You know my frail heart and my frayed history -
and now another day begins.
O God, help me to believe in beginnings
and in my beginning again,
no matter how often I’ve failed before.
Help me to make beginnings:
to begin going out of my weary mind
into fresh dreams,
daring to make my own bold tracks
in the land of now;
to begin forgiving
that I may experience mercy;
to begin questioning the unquestionable
that I may know truth
to begin disciplining
that I may create beauty;
to begin sacrificing
that I may make peace;
to begin loving
that I may realize joy.
Help me to be a beginning to others,
to be a singer to the songless,
a storyteller to the aimless,
a befriender of the friendless;
to become a beginning of hope for the despairing,
of assurance for the doubting,
of reconciliation for the divided;
to become a beginning of freedom for the oppressed,
of comfort for the sorrowing,
of friendship for the forgotten;
to become a beginning of beauty for the forlorn,
of sweetness for the soured,
of gentleness for the angry,
of wholeness for the broken,
of peace for the frightened and violent of the earth.
Help me to believe in beginnings,
to make a beginning,
to be a beginning,
so that I may not just grow old,
but grow new
each day of this wild, amazing life
you call me to live
with the passion of Jesus Christ.
Hmm. It appears I might have to track down this book and purchase it…
Tip of the hat to the amazing David Bayne (no, not David Blaine. David Bayne.) and the site “Prayers and Creeds” (a wonderful place to pick up on some unique, challenging, profound, and beautiful prayers).
Last night I spent a good 15 minutes watching an infomercial for Chef Tony’s miracle blade knife set. It was fascinating. Apparently the primary user market for Chef Tony’s knives are people who haven’t yet figured out how to use a normal knife. (No, you don’t slice tomatoes by stabbing them with a cleaver. No, a hammer and chisel aren’t the best way to separate ribs.)
Apparently, this knife can slice through a pineapple in mid-air. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve needed to do that, only to have my knife fail miserably at the job. For Pete’s sake, last time I cut a pineapple, I had to set it down on the counter.
And then there was Tom – the fawning yet slightly off-putting sidekick to Chef Tony who raved about the quality of the knives, practically had tears in his eyes at the end when Chef Tony gave him (absolutely FREE) his very own Miracle Knife set. Oh Tom… I’m not really sure what to make of some of your comments.
As Chef Tony and Tom are watching a “real live carpenter” cut through dry wall with one of the miracle knives, Tom blurts out “My wife can tell you I have ruined many a knife trying to use it like a saw.” Really Tom? Really? Or when Chef Tony demonstrates how easy it is to cut a loaf of bread with the slicer, Tom’s response is “My wife bought a bread maker, but we quit using it because neither of us could cut the bread…” Tom, if you can’t figure out how to cut the bread properly, I don’t think a new knife set is going to solve your problems.
It really is compelling television though, and for some reason, much funnier in Spanish… (to see the people who seem to have never used a knife before, go to 23 seconds into the video, and enjoy…)
So this past Friday afternoon was quite eventful as I knocked out a big chunk of applications, bit the bullet, and sent them in. In celebration, I drove into the suburbs and spent the night with some friends. There’s something refreshing and life-giving about being with people who really, truly know you, and vice versa. And when you’ve known someone for a long time, it’s just that much sweeter.
Seeing Jeff and Megan and their beautiful daughter was long overdue, a breath of fresh air and cool water and warm sunlight. Sitting on the couch in the living room next to a fake fire (or rather, a real fire that burned on a fake log), laughing, telling stories, asking questions, challenging and encouraging each other…
Anyway, I’m grateful. Grateful for family, for friends both old and new, for those who know me, and who have allowed me to know them. Grateful for those that are exist and those that are developing. I am so rich, so blessed.
So much of this past year has been transitory – leaving Brazil, moving to the US, adjusting… saying good-byes – so many good-byes… preparing for the future… trying to figure out which doors to knock on, which to pursue, which dreams are worth fighting for and which dreams should be left to die gently… discovering what friendships look like now that I’m here, and not there… stumbling towards home, seeking clarity and wisdom, hoping and praying for grace…
So I haven’t been on here since the trip out to California for Christmas – since coming back, things have been busy with friends, family, finishing up law school apps and the scholarship applications. I have been not making time for this outlet. But I thought I’d take a few minutes to point the way towards a few sites that are doing some good things, responding to the dire, horrific need those in Haiti are suffering from right now.
And while I don’t know first-hand, I can pass on a few sites, info, etc. as to how we can best help.
- Haiti is about the size of Maryland and a big chunk of the population lives in or near Port-Au-Prince, maybe a third of the total, depending on what you count as a suburb. So the collapse of Port-Au-Prince is a big, big deal for the country as a whole. It’s a dominant city for Haiti. Plus Jacmel seems to be leveled. From the reports I have seen, my tentative conclusion is that the country as a whole is currently below the subsistence level and will remain so for the foreseeable future. ~ via Marginal Revolution
2 – Give. Give generously.
My general rule of thumb could be summarized as the ELE rule:
Is it an Established organization with a longtime in-country presence?
Does the organization employ, empower, and partner with Local individuals and organizations (eg, houses of faith, community groups)?
Does the organization have Experience in disaster relief and/or health care?
(click here to finish the rest of the post, and see a few options for giving, including:
So I’m sitting in O’Hare – at a cool picnic table in this atrium, listening to a band play some fairly sweet jazz… And it just makes me happy to sit and hear them. Most people are in a hurry and just walk on by. Every now and then someone will stop and stand to listen to their banter for a moment – the slick, smoky sound… Even rarer, someone will stop and take a seat and listen for a few – smile a bit… heads bobbing, feet tapping, smiles breaking out… little grins and eye contact made between the band members and the few of us who are sitting in the “audience”…
They’re playing “Signed Sealed Delivered…” and doing a prety good job of it too. There’s a little blond boy down the way who’s running around, dancing circles aroudn his stroller… A young girl in her 20’s sitting at a table looks like she wants to get up and dance. She’s practically floating in her chair, loose and smooth. The round TSA guard with a bleached mohawk stops and breaks into dance while his partner shakes her head and grins. An older woman with a Rudolph the reindeer headbanc is sashsaying up and down the terminal while she talks on her phone, just feeling the music.
And me, who’s sitting here in the middle of the concourse, at a picnic table painted blue that kind of reminds me of “Starry Night,” listening to talent and joy and beauty in the midst of the busy-ness of O’Hare… my head’s bobbing, grin’s cheesily and sits at the back, observing, and taking it all in. And in this moment, they’re giving of themselves, and we who sit and listen are recieving it. There’s a unity there that I love. And now, in the contentment of this moment, before I walk down the terminal with its flickering, flourescent lighting, I’m going to put the computer away and just listen for a few more minutes of peace…
In about 12 hours, we’ll be hopping in the car, driving to O’Hare, and hopping on a plane out to California… (Apparently, there will be lots of hopping going on.) And while I’m thrilled to spend time with family (including commemorating Kait’s graduation from nursing school!!!, a cousin’s wedding, and Christmas up at the family camp on the bluff overlooking the ocean…), I’m almost more excited about getting out of the cold for a week or so… not entirely, but enough…
In true Ben fashion, I haven’t come close to starting to pack – but really, it’s only going to be for about 10 days, and how much do I really need to pack after all? For those of you out in Cali, let me know if you have some time to hang out… and for the rest of you, I may or not be around much here this Christmas. Now, it’s off to pack (after I eat some dinner, and maybe wrap a present or two…)
When we were little, my mom and dad had many songs they sang to/with us children… And most of them have stuck to this day. (If you ever want to hear the song about the uncle who roasted a kangaroo, all you have to do is ask…) But today, as I sat at the table reading Beuchner and drinking café, I kept getting distracted by looking out the huge window. The play of sunlight over the snow, the stark yet still covered in snow tree branches outlined against the deep, rich blue of the sky…
It reminded me of one of the songs that we sang as children (one which I only discovered much later got its words from an e.e. cummings poem. Who knew?) And while, strictly speaking, it’s a spring/summer song, I don’t really care… The blue sky today was enough to
i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
—–
(And yes Kate, it really was a song. But only the first verse. I’m not sure how the rest of it would go with the music…)
I currently have about eight rough drafts floating around of my two-page/1000 word personal statement. None of them are quite finished. None of them are what I want them to say. None of them are perfect. I keep trying to find the perfect medium that will crystalize the essence of who I am, what I did, and what I learned over the past six years in Brazil – the relationships that shaped me, the challenges that bent me, where I come from, and where I am going. It all seems so important. How can I leave out writing about Jeferson? How can I not mention the favelas? How can I tie in Peru, Taylor, Israel, Nepal, Colorado, and the people in those places that have mentored, guided, loved, and prayed for me? How can I make it perfect?
And I know that it doesn’t have to be perfect. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting it to be so – just the right picture, just the right phrase, the exact image, all leaving the reader feeling like they know me better, and want to continue that process… So, now that I’ve vented a bit here, back to work… Anyone else feel like being a voice in the editing process? Just let me know… =)
“The spectacular structure of Planetary nebula NGC 2818 contains the outer layers of a star that were expelled into interstellar space. The glowing gaseous shrouds in the nebula were shed by the central star after it ran out of fuel to sustain the nuclear reactions in its core. This Hubble image was taken in November 2008 with the Wide Field Planetary Camera 2. The colors in the image represent a range of emissions coming from the clouds of the nebula: red represents nitrogen, green represents hydrogen, and blue represents oxygen.” (NASA, ESA, and the Hubble Heritage Team, STScI/AURA)
I just spent a few minutes looking through these amazing images from NASA’s Hubble Telescope. And while I am as guilty as the next person of overusing the word “awesome”, these images of our universe and the beauty and wildness that fill it truly are awe inspiring.
Take a minute to go and look at them. They’re worth it. I’ll wait.
—–
Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Isaiah 40:26a
—– O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens. From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?
Psalm 8:1-4
—–
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
He was with God in the beginning.
Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.
In him was life, and that life was the light of men.
The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it…
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.
We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:1-5, 14
—–
The almighty God, creator of heaven and earth – he who formed galaxies, crafted the nebulae, and awoke the morning stars as they shouted and sang for joy – this God is the one who came to earth as Emmanuel – God with us. The creator of the supernovae became a baby, was born to a girl on a tiny corner of this sphere hurtling through space, for love of his creation: for you and for me, for the poor and the forgotten, for the rich and the isolated, for the one and all.
This is the miracle of Christmas. And in the midst of the hustle and bustle, the programs and ministry obligations, the family and friends, the things to buy and things to decorate and things to do, I hope and pray that we take the time to remember: to be still and silent, and prepare our hearts to welcome again the birth of the one who made all things and holds all creation together, and who continues to come before us in disguise, through the poor, the hungry, the lonely, the rejected. ”Let every heart, prepare him room, and let heaven and nature sing with joy as we welcome the King into our hearts, our homes, and our lives.”
—–
* All of the Hubble pictures are from the Hubble site gallery.
A few weeks ago I discovered the existence of the National Toy Hall of Fame (via Jon Stewart). It is a part of the Museum of Play (found in Rochester, New York), which seems like a great idea. I was a little skeptical of the Toy Hall of Fame, however, as I assumed it would merely be another marketing ploy, honoring and encouraging the conspicuous consumption that marks our society. I’m still a little ambivalent – after all, the 44 inductees into the Toy Hall of Fame include Barbie, G.I. Joe, and the Game Boy. On the other hand, how can you not love a Hall of Fame which includes classic toys such as “The Ball,” “Stick” (which “may be the world’s oldest toy”) and “Cardboard Box?”
A few insightful comments from the creators of the Toy Hall of fame:
The Chinese invented cardboard in the 1600s. The English played off that invention and created the first commercial cardboard box in 1817… Over the years, children sensed the possibilities inherent in cardboard boxes, recycling them into innumerable playthings…
Sticks are all around us; they are natural, and free.
Sticks are not only possible the oldest toy, they’re possibly the best.
I think my Christmas shopping list is now complete. For all siblings, cousins, and the children of all ages, they’ll be getting their “genuine, Toy Hall of Fame recommended, Stick” (with certificate of authenticity, so they’ll know it’s a real Stick, and not one of the cheap knock-offs.) Although, Cardboard Box and The Ball may also be involved in the gift giving process at some point.
So the next time you’re outside and you see a stick lying on the ground, just pick it up and think of it as my Christmas present to you.
